"Your Honor, I avoid her like the plague!"

Day 9

We spent the entire day in the District IV General Sessions court listening to all the cases on the Domestic Violence docket. When we arrived we were seated VIP style in the first two rows behind the "General's"(assistant district attorney) table. The first half of the day standard Orders of Protection were issued and other matters were settled. On the bench the judge was all business and no-nonsense but in person he was completely hilarious! We had lunch with him where we were able to get all our questions about the first half of the day answered. He was very excited to have us.

The afternoon session of court was reserved for hearings. The most interesting hearing was a man who was jailed for three years for beating his mother mercilessly. He was in court today for violating an Order of Protection his sister had on him. An order of protection often involves no contact at all but he spoke to his sister when he saw her one day which meant he violated the order. He told the court today that typically when he sees his sister he "avoids her like the plague." Since he was found guilty of violating the OP he was given the maximum sentence of 11-29 (11 month & 29 days) in jail.

Today was the first day that we got to hear the abuser's side of the story and see what they look like. Many trip participants said that what concerned them most was that a lot of the abusers looked like "normal" people that we interact with everyday. Attending court and interacting with the judge was definitely one of the highlights of the trip for most of us.

~Fearless Leader #1

haiku time 1.20.10

We painted the walls over and

over with double coats.

Lives aren't that easy to paint.

--Fearless Leader #2

Woman found safe place,

thought she had new beginning.

Disappeared, now gone.

--Bargain Hunter Extradonaire

Helping Hands - Jan 20th

500 calls. Thats how many times the Family Crisis Center is contacted in one month.

Its no wonder why they are so popular. As long as you are in immediate danger, they will not turn you away.

Alicia, the supervisor, was so passionate about her work, it really opened my eyes to see how much patience and dedication you must have to work in this field.

Everyone was so thankful for our work, and I felt like we really made a difference. We painted almost all of the house, and helped clean out their shed. Not that it looked that bad before, but the place definitely looked a lot better afterwards (after hours of laborious work).

I hope our efforts made a difference in the victims' lives. =]

-Nimble Handed Painter

Covered in Paint - January 19, 2009

A foyer, a dining room, a playroom and a bright, peptobismol pink hallway - all painted and cleaned by 15 eager amateur painters. (If you ever need a house painted, we are more than qualified by now!)
Today, we visited the CEASE domestic violence shelter in Morristown, TN and were given the assignment of painting several parts of the shelter that merited attention and a good cleaning. While focusing on painting, we interacted with several women at the shelter and were able to play with three extremely adorable children.
Although we all felt accomplished at the end of the day, domestic violence is a difficult issue to think about and face. Directly interacting with women who have faced such hardships was overwhelming but also extremely informative and interesting. And although playing with the children was fun, and they were extremely cute, it was saddening to think about the trauma and difficulties the children must have encountered during their childhood.
Nonetheless, this trip is dedicated to helping others, and even though painting walls may not be an activity many enjoy (especially since the paint gets everywhere), we were especially happy to help in whatever way we can.

- An Accomplished Painter

WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST LEAVE HIM?!

Overwhelming, astounding, distressed, horrified - these are some of the words I would use to descibe our experiences today. Today, we went to Blount County's Sherrif office where we took part in an educational activity for which we were divided in five groups of 3. All groups were given a character card which explained a specific situation the victim of domestic violence was in, and we had to put ourseleves in their shoe and make the decisions. This is when we all realize the position these women are put in and the choices they have to make in their lives. Before this, we often found ourselves asking the question, "WHY DOESN'T SHE LEAVE?!" But after taking part in that activity and making the same choices those women make, we now realize that its not always that easy. There are different reasons which might be barring a women in an abusive relationship to leave. Those reasons include (but are not limited to)-language barrier, religious concerns, children, co-dependence on their partner, low self-esteem, isolation from friends and family etc. The sheriffs at the office shared their personal stories which made us all realize that domestic violence doesn't discriminate; it effects all, even the strong ones.
We also went to Haven House which is a shelter for battered women, and we helped them organize their donations. Overall, it was a really productive day, and we were happy to be of any help.

PS- We went to Smoky Mountains in the evening, and let me you- IT WAS SUPERRR COOOL! :)

Stay tuned for more...

- Just call me that girl who is always sick

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
If you're a corporal in the Boult County Sheriff's Office, you tell her it's her fault because she chose to stay. If you're her pastor, you read her Corinthians 5 and remind her that divorce is a sin. Jesus, you say, never gave up on anyone. If you're her mother, you tell her that's just the way things are. All men are animals, just like your father was to her.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
If you work at Haven House you tell her that his violence is not her fault. You tell her that she is strong and it is not her fault. That she is beautiful and that no one deserves to be hit.

What would you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Whatever you want. But make sure you say something. And make sure, make sure, make sure, that it isn't something he's already told her twice.

How easy it is...

This was our first really early morning treck. We left just after 6 am to lend a hand at KARM, the Knoxville Area Rescue Mission, which shelters and feeds many in the downtown area. I think this particular service project was a humbling reminder to me (and the group) that difficult life experiences can touch us all at any moment. There were men, women, and children; old and young; able-bodied and disabled; mentally stable and those with mental health challenges; educated and undereducated. In my privileged life, I often forget how easy it is to fall upon difficult times and really only be steps away from having the basic needs of both me and my family unmet.

I was particularly reminded of many things I take for granted...

• The food I eat is my choice and not decided for me.
• Condiments such as sugar are a regular staple and readily available.
• The ingredients that I purchase and use in my food are not past their expiration date.
• Making a request to have my food heated in a microwave is not considered troublesome or unreasonable.
• I can eat when I choose.
• I don't need to stand in line with hundreds of people to obtain a meal.
• If I get up for an early meal, I can go back to sleep in my own bed.
• When I am in public, I am treated like/recognized as a valuable member of society, not laughed at, overlooked or disregarded.
• Feeling worthy of and unashamed when being served.

I left KARM with a heavy heart, but not a negative spirit. I worked alongside and served some really great people this morning. Thanks to the man who recommended a new book to me and another who provided a stimulating conversation about the history of religion...to the young women who understoond that sugar wasn't available but were so thankful for a cup of ice...and to the couple who gruffly responded that they'd try to have a nice day despite their current circumstances.

This experience was a positive reminder that I need to escape my everday comforts and be a part of the entire community, not just the community I have created for myself.

~ Erin, Staff Advisor